Category Archives: Bands & Musicians

An interview with Tim Showalter of Strand of Oaks

Tim Showalter is one of the few people I know who can fit in both the “friends and acquaintances” category and “musicians” category on this blog. We grew up in the same neighborhood together and I interviewed him a number of years ago before he became a full-time musician under the moniker Strand of Oaks. But for this interview we both agreed to focus more on the non-music stuff and see where it took us.

Do you ever miss teaching?

I miss the routine of it. There was a lot of gratification in seeing results in kids doing well. As a whole I don’t miss it that much. I think I was pretty good at it but not great at it. I don’t know if I’d go back to it. I’d like to work with kids but not in the form of a classroom teacher. Maybe something different. I always had a lot of big ideas with the kids but it was hard with the details. I think teachers are really good with detailed plans and day-to-day stuff and I like the larger arcs of where to take things.

I liked my specific job. I liked the school I was at. I think why I enjoyed teaching so much was because my school was so cool. It was a loose setting. I only had eight students every year and so I had a lot more freedom than a public school teacher.

What kind of school was it?

It was a preschool through eighth grade Orthodox Jewish School in Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania.

What do you think you’d like to do with kids, then?

I’ve always been fascinated with working at a summer camp. Or working with curriculum. I really have no idea. I always knew I was good at it, but I got into music so I kind of lost trying to define what I should do with it. I stopped thinking about it as much. If I would have stayed at it a little longer I probably would’ve discovered it. Maybe writing kids’ books. Something along those lines.

Your undergraduate degree was in what?

Psychology and elementary education.

How has the psychology undergrad affected your daily life? How do you use it?

I don’t think I use it at all. It was a requirement for the school I went to. They required you to do both. You couldn’t just get a degree in elementary education. Psychology just fell in line. I just started taking a lot of classes. It was really interesting but I don’t think I could do it. It was too much science when you got down to it. I took a class on pharmacology or something and I had no idea what was going on from beginning to end.

You went to Wilkes University, right?

Yeah. I actually picked it because it was close to my apartment in Wilkes-Barre. It wasn’t some dream I had when I was fourteen. It was more about the proximity to where I lived. It was a great school but it didn’t have a lot of identity. It seemed like a school where a lot of people were business majors. It seemed like just a normal school.

Just a second ago you mentioned a dream you had when you were fourteen – what was a dream you had when you were fourteen?

When I was fourteen it was just Indiana University. That’s where everybody went. I knew for one thing that I never wanted to go to Goshen College (Goshen is where Tim and I grew up). From my earliest memories that was something I knew I didn’t want to do. College was such a utilitarian thing for me. I just wanted to get out of school and get a job. I probably wasn’t the best student. As opposed to somebody like you who just loves going to school, I was just ready to not be in school anymore.

But did you have any other dreams when you were fourteen? Not even things related to school, but what did you think you wanted to do then?

I don’t know. Probably be in Joy Electric. Be the touring keyboardist in Joy Electric. [laughs]

That actually leads into something I was wanting to talk about with you. (Note: Joy Electric was a Christian band.) What specifically happened with you to go from growing up and affiliating yourself with a lot of Christians – I guess I’ll say that because I’m hesitant to speak for you in regards to your religious beliefs – to not practicing that anymore?

I think I was a very emotional teenager. I was either lonely or sad and it was a pretty immediate gratification to be part of a community. I think back – and not to discredit people who think that way – and traveling around I think that I could’ve been part of the local hardcore community or the local skateboard kids in California. Something along those lines. What happened is that at that age the friends I had went to church and instead of drinking beer and skateboarding it was youth group. Even shows; there was no non-religious oriented things that happened in Goshen. They all had something to do with a church. I think it all had to do with where you grow up.

I got into it pretty genuinely and I also don’t know why. If you can get into it that much and easily get out of it, I don’t know how important it was to begin with. It was more like wearing a certain kind of clothing for me.

I’m not an atheist. I just don’t know. I don’t put a lot of thought into it anymore. I think a lot of people put so much thought into why they’re not thinking a certain way anymore that it seems just as strange as someone who wants to believe in something so badly.

There’s still times going on hikes and thinking of Lord of the Rings that I get those feelings.

Did you just say Lord of the Rings?

Yeah. Going out on hikes and thinking of Gandalf. I think that’s spiritual. I got really into Battlestar Galactica and I think I was about into that as much as I was into youth group.

And again, I have this tendency to make humorous situations out of serious things but I genuinely think those ways. It’s not just me trying to make a joke. It’s not me trying to avoid real emotions through humor. That’s how I genuinely think about it.

But was there some point where you thought, “I don’t feel like I identify with Christianity anymore?”

I think it was just moving away from it. When you live in places like Goshen or other parts of the country it’s what you do because it’s what your friends do. Just like a lot of friends may drink and so you drink. It’s not peer pressure; it just feels like location. It seems kind of natural.

I think if it would have been a deep desire and need I would have stuck with it. I don’t know if I ever understood it or culturally understood it. When I was at the Jewish school I related to Jewish practices. It was around me every day. I loved being around it. Maybe it’s community that I loved being around.

Well, I know for me it was moving away. It’s complicated though.

Yeah. I think it’s complicated for people who even believe in it [Christianity]. Another thing for me is that I have friends and family who really like it and I want to respect them for doing that. I feel people respect me for pursuing something weird like playing music for a living and I should just as much respect them for wanting to have stuff like that as part of their lives. I don’t understand it but I can see why they want to believe in that.

Have you run into anyone from high school that thought you were a certain way spiritually and you’re not that way anymore and has there been conflict over that?

I don’t think so. Most of the people I hung out with who were in those scenes and churches were all really cool people. I don’t see many people from that time but they were all pretty genuinely nice folks. The only time it gets weird is with the people that weren’t. Then, over the ten or twelve years it’s been since I’ve seen then they’ve got a lot more serious about church and that’s almost harder for me to relate to. It’s like, “Whoa! I guess you’re really into this now. That’s different.”

J [a mutual friend of Tim and I] and I were talking about this once and I was noticing this same thing and I said to him, “What’s up with all those people we went to high school with that were fuck-ups?” And he said, “Oh, they’re still fuck-ups, but they’re fuck-ups for Jesus now.”

Yeah, it feels like that. It’s like all the hippies who dropped acid started all those rock and roll churches. They wanted to keep that experience going but they had kids and were losing their hair and getting older. And let’s just try and find that same release and community.

Now, am I imagining this, or at some point did you want to be a youth pastor?

I think I probably did. It seemed like something similar to being a teacher. But I don’t think it was some inner calling as much as it was circumstance and what my proximity to people was and what you know. I wanted to do a lot of things. Ask my parents. My mind was changing constantly.

Do you worry about people who might hear this and think you sound flaky or insincere?

I think I’m kind of full of shit. I honestly think I am. Ninety-nine percent of the things I say are bullshit. I probably disappoint a lot of people and I look up to the people who don’t change their opinions but for some reason I always am changing and moving around. I’m always thinking about different stuff whether its music or books or other stuff I enjoy. I might be flaky. I might be flaky with friendships. I think I get really excited about things and then that excitement changes to other stuff and for my personal perspective it seems normal. “I’m just shifting into something else I’m really into.” There’s the people who never shift and are into some things their whole lives and I think some of that has to do with me probably being really good at being mediocre at a lot of things and not mastering anything. I think those people who can really focus on one thing can become great at it. It’s just not a quality I have.

I don’t know. Don’t you think you’d say that about music?

Maybe that is the thing I’ve found that I pursued to no end. Even in the past year I’ve realized I’m really good at this. This is the one thing that I’ve realized I got the equivalent of my doctorate in. Performing and making records and writing songs. It’s grown. It grew from a hobby and not being very good at it and especially in the last year or so it’s solidified as something I do well.

Two words for you, Tim: Birthday Boy. (This was one of Tim’s first recording projects.)

Yeah. I’m really glad I wasn’t good at recording because I had no idea how to make music. I don’t think I knew how to make music until about six months ago. It’s exciting now. Songwriting has changed for me. It used to be this thing that kind of happened. “I have no idea how I wrote that song.” To where now I know how I want to write a song and put it together. It’s exciting to me, creatively. It opens a lot more doors because it’s not so random anymore.

I’d like to go back to this flakiness thing. How does your wife handle that?

That’s another area of my life where it’s pretty stable. The focus on being married is consistent. She knew what she was getting into when she married me. It finally has settled since I’ve known her, especially. As I get older. There was a time in my from fifteen to twenty-two where I was changing every second, which I think is important for people to do that.

Socially I have really good friends that I keep as good friends and then I have this constant shift in social circles. Sometimes I just don’t hang out with anybody and sometimes I hang out with a lot of people.

Do you worry that the music business exasperates that?

It does. Sometimes when I’m done with a tour I don’t want to talk to anybody at all. I love connecting with people and talking with people but it does require you to say a lot of the same things over and over again. It’s not the fault of the people who are asking the questions and it’s not my fault for answering them, it’s just the nature of it. It comes to such an automated place that it’s just as automated as playing a song every night.

I definitely think that touring for an entire year changes you. You’re talking to so many different people and meeting so many different people where you get to the point where it’s like, “Man, I don’t know if I could meet a new person.” My wife wanted me to go out to dinner this weekend with some other people and I said, “I just don’t want to meet anyone new just now.” I’m kind of flushed right now with people.

Does it bother you to hear yourself say you’re full of shit?

I don’t know. Maybe it’s kind of healing. Hopefully it will help me change. It can also be seen as an excuse and it might be seen as me making an excuse to cover flaws I might have. I don’t try and make it that way. Maybe I’m not full of shit because I do mean what I say, I just change meanings a lot. When I am saying it I am very sincere but a year from now I might change again and it might be something different I really care about.

Somewhat related to that – what’s one of the biggest regrets you have in your life?

*sigh* Regrets. Going back to the flakiness thing – the thing that’s the least flaky in my life is my family. Moving around so much and pursuing music, the people who are the most stable and make me feel the most comfortable somehow get neglected the most. That’s a regret. Not being at nephews’ birthdays or having phone calls with my parents when they’re at their nice family functions and I’m not there again. I’m in San Diego playing a show or something. That’s definitely a regret.

How often do you get back to Goshen each year?

Not enough. Maybe one or two times. I need to do it more. The more I go back it’s great. But going to Goshen now doesn’t mean going to Indiana, it means going to see my parents. I don’t think Indiana holds much to it; it’s just good to be back with my family.

Are you still much of a drinker?

I’ve actually kind of cut that out recently. I’ve replaced it with seltzer for the time being. It got to the point where I was drinking a beer and whiskey and I just said, “I don’t need to do this so much anymore.” It wasn’t benefitting me whatsoever. It was just like everything else in my life; it was just a phase that I’ll probably go into again. For this day, this time you’re talking to me, I’m not into it much right now.

I didn’t know if you had been like, “The beer gut has gotten big enough!”

Yeah, I don’t really have the greatest skinny jeans body. Maybe I do need to work on it. I’m starting to look more like a bouncer than I am the guy who plays the songs. I don’t know if that’s a good thing or bad thing.

Whose hair is longer: yours or your wife’s?

Oh, my hair. It just keeps growing. The last haircut I got was in 2006. I cut it once for Locks of Love about three years ago. It just comes back. It’s always there. There’s so much of it. I was joking that in the summertime in that place underneath my beard around my neck if I put a thermometer down there it’d be about 350 degrees. It’s so warm. It’s like the same kind of climate as Laos in the summertime.


An interview with Jason Barnes

My friend Roy is back again with another contribution for the blog. Thanks Roy!

I met Jason Barnes for the first time nearly ten years ago. I was working for a record label in Seattle and went to see his band, Haste the Day, at a small church outside the city. After about a year of negotiations (I think this was the longest time I would work on signing a band), his band signed to the label, the same label that would lay me off about a month later. Ahhh the music business! Over the next six or so years Haste the Day would become a significant band playing Warped Tour numerous times as well as concerts all over the world.

In 2008, before the band began writing their fourth full-length record, “Dreamer,” Jason was asked to leave Haste the Day because he considered himself an atheist. Although I hadn’t been involved with the band for several years, I always tried to see them when our paths crossed. Jason’s sudden exit from the band was painful to hear because I knew how close the guys were to one another.

Some time passed before I was able to reconnect with Jason again. Recently we sat down and talked about what life has been like since he was asked to leave the band, how his philosophical and theological perspective have evolved and check in on his new band, Beyond Oceans.

 

Where do you live?

Indianapolis, Indiana.

What do you do to pay the bills?

I am a bartender at a martini/sushi bar.

How did you get into bartending? Did you have a genuine interest in it or did you just need a job and acquired the skills along the way?

Well, the staff was the first to come to my rescue when I was in need of a job once my tenure with Haste the Day came to an end. I started as a bouncer and then got moved up eventually to head bartender. Plus I enjoy a drink myself so it was a pretty natural fit.

Nice! Before we get into your history with Haste the Day, let’s talk about your new band. Do you guys have a name yet? Who’s in it? 

We are called Beyond Oceans. It is Brennan Chaulk (formerly of Haste the Day), Dave Powell (Emery) and myself. We are finishing an EP that I will have a link to in the near future. Brennan broke his ankle recently, which has delayed the process slightly. We are all very excited about the music we are creating though.

How would you describe the new songs?

I like to think of it as just good rock music. It isn’t heavy; there aren’t any breakdowns or screaming. Just good melodies, guitar riffs, and solos. If I had to compare it to anything I suppose I would go with Foo Fighters or Muse, something along those lines but definitely epic!

Most people that know you as a musician are familiar with your time in Haste the Day. What is the biggest difference in writing the music you’re doing now vs. the music in Haste the Day? Is one more satisfying for you than the other?

I loved being in Haste the Day but this new project is really what I have wanted to do all along. The heavy stuff is fun to play live, and we had amazing fans. I think most of them will really enjoy the stuff we are playing now. I am writing all of the music for this project and Brennan is taking care of the vocals, so it’s not much different from our time together in Haste the Day. This project resonates with me more; it’s something that I would listen to even if I weren’t in the band.

I remember talking to you a few years back and you were into big guitar rock bands even then. What was some of the music that inspired you to begin playing guitar?

Well I have been playing guitar for 20 years now, and I still listen to most of the same stuff as I did when I was a kid – stuff like Stevie Ray Vaughn, Led Zeppelin, Aerosmith, Guns N’ Roses, Nirvana, Pink Floyd, Green Day, AC/DC, etc.

20 years? Crazy! So, let’s get into some of the Haste the Day story. How did you first get connected with the guys in the band?

I met them when I was in my first band with Dave in the late 90′s. We played shows with Devin and Brennan at a Christian coffee shop called the Catacombs. I met Jimmy later; I used to work with his ex-fiancé.

Correct me if I am wrong but you were one of the original members, right?

The original members were Brennan, Mike and Devin. I joined about 5 months later and brought Jimmy with me. So essentially yes, the first full line up that originated in 2001.

It seemed from the very beginning that Haste the Day was a band that actively evangelized and often stated that, if not their sole mission, it certainly was a big part of it. Can you tell me about how you first became a Christian and how it shaped your worldview prior to the band?

Yes, Haste the Day was always a ministry-oriented band. Christianity was something I kind of inherited from my family and was raised to believe. It was a driving force for me as a teenager, up until I started thinking a bit more objectively about it.

And what began that journey to begin thinking more objectively about Christianity? Did that present a crisis for you?

Well, for me it was just bound to happen. I am the kind of person who needs good reason and evidence to believe something, and it became increasingly difficult to square my Christian worldview with reality. The amount of mental gymnastics I had to put myself through to keep rationalizing my religious faith started to get really old. There seemed to be a mental mechanism that I was employing that felt dishonest and didn’t allow me to really address challenges and questions about faith. Once I decided to be completely honest about what I believed to be true and where the evidence pointed, religion naturally dissolved for me.

What branch of Christianity did you come from? Would you describe it as conservative or maybe fundamentalist?

I belonged to a non-denominational Christian church. The people there were nice for the most part but my leaving Christianity had nothing to do with being wronged by a church member or anything like that. They all did seem to have a very fundamentalist interpretation of scripture which I knew in my core was a bit childish. Like young-earth creationism and whatnot.

Haste the Day

As I’ve gotten to know more people who have left Christianity and started calling themselves atheist or agnostic, they seem to go through a process similar to what gay and lesbian folk who are coming out experience. When you finally realized you were no longer a believer, did you begin to talk about it right away or was it something you kept hidden?

I certainly kept it hidden from my band members because I was afraid of how they would react. But, as time went on and it felt much more natural to me and not such a big deal, I started opening up more.

How did your family, friends and band members respond to that? Haste the Day toured constantly and everyone seemed very close so I would imagine conversation about it would happen naturally.

Well, conversations about it were had one on one but it wasn’t until we met to start writing “Dreamer”, our 4th full length album, that it became a full band conversation. Well, not so much a conversation as it was I being told I was no longer welcome to be a member of the band. It was really difficult for me to handle at the time; I would compare it to being disowned by your family. But I have mended relationships with all of them, and it’s water under the bridge. And in a way, I was glad that I was honest about who I was and wasn’t part of something anymore whose message I no longer believed to be true.

I would imagine that had to be intense. I remember the day when the press began to report the reason for your departure, one of the bands I worked with at the last label I worked for were staying at my place and they were dumbfounded, they couldn’t understand it. Haste the Day was not only something you helped create but it was your livelihood as well. What did you do after that? Did you have a network at home that was supportive? I imagine this was a surprise to a lot of folks.

Yeah, it was a surprise to most people, including me. I didn’t see it coming; maybe I was in denial. Luckily, I did have a group of friends who were there for me. They were there for me when I was a Christian, and when I wasn’t. That is unconditional love.

How has your family dealt with your departure from Christianity?

That was actually the most unpleasant conversation – nobody wants to make their mother cry. The bizarre part of it is, I didn’t do anything wrong, you know? I was just being honest. I would imagine gay people deal with a similar coming out process.

One of the challenges folks who leave religion encounter is the existential crisis of meaning. When you think the creator of the world is directing and talking to you, meaning comes about kind of naturally. It sounds like you were already skeptical of religious claims early on. How did you deal with the question of meaning? What directs and gives your life meaning now?

Well I try to deal with the question of “meaning” as honestly as I can. I think we can give our lives meaning by loving and being loved. As far as people who think that we can’t have morality without religion, which is really something that doesn’t even resonate with me because we know it isn’t true. The universe is almost 14 billion years old, the planet is 4.5 billion years old, and primates (which we are) have been around for millions of years, all the while showing empathy, creating moral guidelines, and practicing everything that we would call ethics. Christianity has only been around for 2,000 years so thinking that it has a monopoly on morality is almost laughable.

The Bible is a really challenging book to use if you want to establish a moral code. If God is the author of it, like some Christians believe, God seems to endorse a lot of terrible stuff.

Well, of course, and the fact that we are able to discern that proves that our moral intuitions come from outside of scripture and not from it.

You have reconciled with the guys in Haste the Day now. What did that reconciliation look like?

It took me a while to be able to really feel comfortable around them again. They are all still Christian but, as most people do, they have re-evaluated how that actually works out in their lives and how they interact with other people who don’t share the same views. Brennan and I are in this new band together and are closer than ever. One night Brennan, Mike (bass player of Haste the Day) and I all had a little too much Jack Daniel’s and we really let all that emotional baggage go. It was pretty therapeutic.

One of the most powerful things someone can do to learn and broaden their worldview is travel – even just around their own country. Did you find that getting out of your hometown and interacting with different people and different cultures on tour had an impact on validating your skepticism? Did you have friends and confidants along the way you were able to talk to about this process or was it internal?

It was mainly an internal, introspective realization. Studying history and science played a big role too. And yes, traveling and exposing yourself to other cultures that are completely different from your own helps in shaping your worldview and puts things in perspective. There have been several people from Christian bands, and people in ministry positions at churches, that have contacted and confided in me about their own lack of faith because my experience was kind of a public example.

During my time at Tooth and Nail / Solid State several band members talked to me about either being gay or agnostic/atheist. It’s a hard predicament to be in when your livelihood is wrapped up in endorsing a set of beliefs you no longer hold or might be hostile to you. Were there any resources that were helpful for you along the way? Anything you would recommend to people just beginning to open themselves up to skepticism about their faith?

Well, part of the whole thing is just learning how to think, not what to think. If there is any topic that is troubling you, seek out an author that is properly trained in their field and see what they have to say. I am a bit weary of recommending books on atheism because I don’t want to sound like an evangelical pushing the Purpose Driven Life (laughing). I do think Sam Harris has a very good talent though for eloquently pointing out the difference between good and bad rationale. Just get yourself out of your comfort zone, and base your beliefs on facts and evidence. The truth is nothing to be afraid of.


Who are you? Underground Railroad to Candyland

I’m getting older. Like a lot of die-hard music fans, I used to feel as though I was on top of all the latest bands. I knew who was on what label and who had toured with whom. I could tell you the good record stores and venues in major cities. I still keep tabs on some bands I like and read some music websites. Nowadays, though, I find myself more on the periphery of the scene. I hear about some acts, or friends will mention someone but I don’t know much about them. Thus, I decided to start a new feature where I email bands that I’ve heard of but don’t know anything about and ask them some questions. I hope you enjoy it.

Underground Railroad to Candyland (URTC) is from Southern California. I first heard about them through Razorcake, the bi-monthly zine for whom I write and podcast.

Who are you? What position do you fill in your band?

Todd Congelliere. I’m a guitar player and singer.

Tell me a story from your childhood, please.

When I was about ten, during a sleepover, me and a friend (let’s name him “Bobby” for this) liked Star Wars action figures so much that we decided to play with them one day with our clothes off. I dunno if it would’ve been good or bad to lock his bedroom door but we didn’t end up locking it and his mom walked in to tell us dinner was ready. I’m 99.99% sure that it looked pretty sketchy in her eyes but she didn’t react with words. During dinner Bobby’s dad kept sipping on milk giving us the evil eye. The milk sipping evil eye. Nothing worse.

When an older family member asks what kind of music you play, what do you tell her/him?

“We sound like The Beatles…but really shitty.”

I’m sure you have been asked a number of times about how the band got together. So, could you please make up a story about how you all got together? No, really. Just make something up. Knock yourself out.

One crisp February morning in 2006 I found myself walking down Pacific Ave. in San Pedro, California, looking for a carton of half and half for my coffee. I hate to be a bitch of convenience but shit man, WHY DON’T THESE FUCKIN’ CORNER STORES SELL HALF AND HALF?!?!?!? They stock that flavored Irish cream, white chocolate buttshit but they won’t stock, normally, the good ol’ half and half. It’s milk and cream fuckholes! What makes matters worse is that they occasionally stock it. That’s bad because I walk there with my fingers crossed only to never feel like the golden ticket will fall outta my chocolate bar. By the way, I woulda ate that chocolate bar, Charlie! Why did you let it fall to the ground like it was just in the way to your shitty golden ticket? Piece of shit, Charlie, you are. Digress I will. I eventually had to walk back to my house, hop in a car and drive for half and half. Later that night we started URTC.

What was the first album you bought that ignited your love for music?

Adam and the Ants – Kings of The Wild Frontier

It seems we all have that person who got us into non-mainstream music (punk/hardcore/indie/metal/emo)? Who was that person for you?

It was a group of skaters from the South Bay area. The dude that really pointed out to me how fuckin badass Greg Ginn was at guitar was Jim Shank. I remember we had to sneak into my sister’s room because she had THE cassette deck and I was jumping all over her bed, sweaty from skateboarding. It was a cool memory.

There is nothing new under the sun, so, let’s be honest: musically you’re ripping somebody off. Who is it?

Everyone from A to Z. Most obviously ZZ Top.

Why should I listen to your music?

You shouldn’t. I don’t want your parents to sue me.

Where can someone go on the internet to listen to your songs?

Recess Records


An interview with Meghan O’Neil of Punch

Meghan O’Neil is the vocalist for the band Punch.

Do you write most of the lyrics for Punch?

There’s one song not written by me but otherwise the other forty-plus are.

When I was reading your lyrics, one thing I kept noticing is this sense of empowerment – taking charge of your life. Would you say that’s a theme with your lyrics?

Yeah, totally. Writing was something that used to be really hard for me. I had tried out to be in the band when my friend Keeth was starting it and I wanted to try out because I thought it would be fun. And then I thought, “Crap – not only do I know I have extreme stage fright, but I’m not a writer. I can’t write lyrics.” It has definitely come a long way in the past five and a half years. I think the biggest part of it becoming easier is me feeling free to become more personal. And not be cheesy but be myself; wail out there and write those empowering lyrics. And not worrying about people judging it. When we first started I worried about what people would think and now I don’t care anymore. Now when I read criticism I just laugh. Recently I read somewhere, “I just can’t get into that band; their lyrics are too posi.” And I actually thought that was awesome.

A lot of times I write when I’m going through hard stuff. For Push Pull I was going through some shit and I had written some lyrics that weren’t posi and thank god there was a part that I had wanted Keeth to sing back-up vocals for and he asked, “What are the words?” and I showed him and he said, “I’m not singing that. There’s no way. I don’t like that song. You’re going to look back on that and you might regret writing that when you don’t feel like that anymore.” I went home, I tore it up and wrote some new stuff and went back the next day and recorded it and he was totally right. I look back on that situation, see the positive lyrics and I feel way better. You don’t want to look back on something and say, “Remember when I was all mad and bitter?” No, life gets real and you get through it. So, I really appreciate that part of Keeth.

So you’re a glass half-full person, then?

Yeah, I try to be. I feel like for my bandmate Keeth the glass is maybe all the way full, so he’s a good influence on me.

The thing about all of that, which is interesting to me, is that when I listen to Punch I feel like putting my fist through the wall because it’s so intense and fast. I feel like it’s really angry, but the lyrics aren’t reflecting that. How do you deal with the fact that generally punk and hardcore are angry types of music but you’re making the lyrics positive?

I think that instead of saying intense or angry, I would say emotional and charged. I have songs – I can think of two off the top of my head – that leave me borderline in tears because they’re really powerfully emotional.

Which songs?

“Let Me Forget” and “If Not Me” are the two I can think of. It’s really cathartic for me. Our last show was in February. And I had really been looking forward to it because I need that catharsis. I need that outlet of screaming for twenty minutes with a bunch of other people in the room who want to let that out. Even though I try to have a positive message, it’s still emotionally charged and I think people are attracted to punk or other intense music because it allows for an outlet for that stuff we all feel. And in daily life we have to tone that down a little bit.

Have you found other outlets besides music that help you get rid of some of the anger?

Listening to music is a huge thing. It’s super therapeutic. I was going to three to four shows a week – last week I went to five shows. Obviously it’s not like that all the time. But going to shows is a big outlet. I like to ride my bike, too, and hang out with my friends.

When you say you’re going to the shows, do you mean you get a release from being in the pit?

Well, I’m not moshing or anything. I have a restless mind and I’m always thinking about stuff and when I’m at a show that’s the only time I’m not thinking about anything and I can be present in the moment. I’m not a huge mosher at shows besides my own because I seem to be prone to injury. At our show in February I got a fucking concussion because during “If Not Me” I was so overdue, and I had a lot of angst and shit built up and I apparently collided with my bassist – his guitar. A couple years ago I broke my foot on tour and I’ve chipped my teeth. I’m accident prone as it is.

I’ll definitely sing along at shows. I went to the Ceremony record release show recently at Gilman and I was like, “Hold me back. Don’t let me get in there.”

Growing up, were you an aggressive kid?

Not really. I’m not hyperactive, just restless. I’m not a wild child or anything, but I like to have fun.

What are you doing for a day job right now?

I’m a nanny, but about two years ago I completed nursing school, so I’m a RN and I also have a degree in nutrition. But breaking my foot set that back a lot. I had a long recovery because I had surgery. Ever since the experience with my foot, tour has always been right around the corner so it’s never been a good time to get a stable nurse job and the nanny job I have gives me the whole summer off and whatever other time I need. They know about the band so they’re supportive. So for the time I’m doing that kind of stuff as I continue to balance my two lives. We haven’t been touring as much right now because two of the guys in our band – their other band (Loma Prieta) has been really active. Knowing that, I went back to school in the fall and I’m working on my bachelor’s in nursing. I’m still very much nursing-oriented but the band has always been my priority. I’m very happy and lucky to be able to do it.

How far along are you in your program?

Halfway. It’s four quarters. So yeah – another degree. It’s a lot of school.

Me too. I can understand that.

Okay. Yeah, Keeth went to Berkeley and our drummer recently finished law school and is studying for the bar. It works that it’s not just one of us. Right now it’s only me but I know Val’s going to be starting soon. It works. We all sort of get it.

So you all have lives outside of Punch?

Yeah, absolutely. Our other guitarist, Dan, moved to Germany a year ago and has his own screenprinting business there, so he very much has his own life. And Val and Brian have Loma Prieta right now and that’s definitely a big part of their life.

It’s always interesting for me to hear what people do outside of bands because, I hate to break it to you, but you’re probably not going to be doing Punch when you’re 65.

Oh yeah. When I first got back with my broken foot and I was newly a nurse, I got depressed about not doing it but now I’ve come to terms with it. I’m going to be a nurse for decades. So I’m going to do this for as long as I can and at least I have that other thing waiting for me.

Who was the person who got you into hardcore or punk rock?

My younger brother, Aaron, who’s in some Seattle area bands, On and Devotion. We’re two years apart and we grew up going to shows together. We’d get dropped off together at Gilman when we were little.

How little?

Not super little. Our parents were somewhat strict, but I think I was 15 and he was 13. When we were much younger, we split that Columbia House mail-order deal. The 15 CDs for 1 penny thing.

The summer Val wasn’t able to go on our European tour because of school, my brother was our fill-in drummer. He’s a very powerful drummer and it was just a dream come true. He’s my favorite person in the world and I got to go to Europe with him for a month. It was unbelievable.

Was there some moment when he played something for you for the first time and you were just like, “What is this?”

You know, I just got asked this last night, but I really can’t remember. I do remember the first show that my parents dropped us off at in the city was Less Than Jake.

My brother used to make mix tapes and when he was dubbing them he would edit the swear words out himself. He would turn the volume down and back up real fast, because like I said, our parents were a little strict. I remember my brother making this mix tapes with Gorilla Biscuits on it and editing them so that my mom would play it in our mini van.

Wow. Did she?

Yeah. Totally. My parents were so down. They’ve been to Gilman a ton of times. They’ve been real supportive. It took my dad a while to come around. But he’s a musician too. He’s got a folk band and I was able to sing some back-up vocals – I can actually sing – on his new record. My brother plays drums on it. It’s all very cute.

So it’s like a family band. You can all go on tour together.

Yeah, my dad would love that. He plays like farmer’s markets and stuff like that. He plays the mandolin.

Maybe he could play in Punch sometime. He could do a guest mandolin spot.

I don’t know about that. But Keeth, my bandmate, played accordion on my dad’s first record.

And your mom is cool with Punch, too?

Yeah. She’s very supportive.

So what were they so strict about?

Just movies and TV and curfew. I didn’t see “Goonies” until I was 18. We didn’t watch movies or TV. But music was a different thing. My parents both met when they worked at a record store. Music is a big part of their lives. So, no movies, no TV, but we’ll take you guys to see the Rolling Stones. That was our first concert when we were pretty young. Pearl Jam opened. Actually, Keeth, my bandmate, that was his first show too. We grew up in the same area but didn’t meet until we were twenty.

What’s on the horizon for Punch? Some touring?

Yeah, definitely. It’s a work in progress right now. We can’t do a lot of planning while two of the members are on tour, but yeah, we want to get out there.

“Do It Yourself” from Punch’s Nothing Lasts EP


An Interview with Matt Fast of The Undecided

This post is a guest interview done by my friend Roy.

I worked at Tooth & Nail records from 2000 – 2004 and one of the bands I really enjoyed getting to know was the Canadian band The Undecided. While pop punk wasn’t the genre of music I normally gravitated toward, I really liked the guys in the band and their music grew on me. Thanks to Facebook I’ve had the opportunity to reconnect with The Undecided and was happy to discover some of the exciting things going on in their lives. I caught up with lead vocalist Matt Fast and we talked about life now that The Undecided isn’t full-time any longer. You can hear the band here.

Where do you currently live?

I currently live in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada.

What do you do to pay the bills?

I pay the bills through student loans and scholarship money. (I am currently doing my Masters in Peace and Conflict Studies).

Are you still involved with music in any way (work for a label, play in a band, do press for a band, book shows, etc.) or any of the other arts (performing, visual, literary)?

As far as music goes I don’t really do much. I would love to though! I still write lyrics and stuff, but I don’t actually know if they’ll find their way into a song one day or not.

At what point did you decide to “give up” the touring and band life and why? Was there a sudden realization that you wanted to live in the “real world” or was it gradual?

I think there were a couple of reasons why we stopped touring. One of them was getting dropped from Tooth and Nail so that left us without a record label to put out our records. Another reason would be that at the time I was married (I’m now divorced), and our guitar player John Paul also got married around that time. When you’re a smaller band touring out of a van it’s hard to balance those things if you can’t bring your spouses on tour with you and you’re not making enough money to support the marriage. So we just sort of stopped touring. We still play maybe once a year or so if one of our friends is doing a benefit or something like that.

You’ve been away from being in a band for a while now. Looking back, what are some lessons you learned during that time?

I learned that nothing is given to you. I learned that to “make it” as a band (and by no means do I pretend that we ever made it) you have to spend a hell of a lot of time on the road. I also learned that it doesn’t necessarily matter how good you are as a band. A lot of your success has to do with networking. I don’t think we were good networkers and we didn’t dress the right way. HA!

So, you lived in Uganda for a while after The Undecided ended.

I initially went there just to do some volunteer work for a few months. I have my undergrad degree in International Development so I wanted to get some practical overseas experience. I went to volunteer with this organization that worked with former child soldiers. They were a well-intentioned org, but really unorganized. This was January 2008. Because they were so unorganized I felt my time was not being used properly so I left them and randomly met this dude who’s from the UK who had been in Uganda for several years at that time. He had worked for a few different organizations himself and was now starting his own so he told me I could come and volunteer with him for the remainder of my time. He was just moving into his office at the time so I bought a mattress, threw it on the floor of the office and slept there for the next 3 months. We were working in Kampala, the capital of Uganda, in a neighborhood called Namuwongo, which is one of the city’s largest and poorest slums – our back door literally opened to the slum. We did child sponsorship, micro-finance for women stuff – like that. I stayed there until April of 2008 and then he told me that I could apply for personal funding to this Irish organization, which personally supported him. So I did that and got accepted. In October 2008 I came back and stayed until October 2010. I got my housing paid for and 600 Euros a month to live off of.

Why did you choose to go to Uganda? Why not another country?

I had originally wanted to go to South Sudan, but I had a friend who had been to Uganda and she told me it was good so I checked it out. By the time I finished in Uganda our org had a child sponsorship program, micro-finance for women, vocational training for women, street kids program, medical clinic, we did HIV/AIDS awareness and testing. It was pretty awesome! The organization is called Uganda Hands for Hope: www.onlinehope.org

My perspective of Uganda is that it’s a war torn country with immense poverty and a lot of folks living with HIV/AIDS. What was it like moving there? What misconceptions did you have? How was it to adapt to a new culture like Uganda?

There is immense poverty in Uganda, especially in the community where I worked. You had open sewage running everywhere, no running water or toilets, small mud one-room houses that slept six or more people. It was on the edge of a swamp so lots of malaria, cholera and flooding. Many of the families that we worked with were war affected and had fled areas of conflict. That being said, you could drive through the capital city and think that the country is very rich and prosperous. There are plenty of high rises, plenty of fancy hotels which are $200-$300 per night, people in their land rovers etc., but the wealth is in the hands of the few. The rural areas are also very poor and there’s no social welfare

How do families in those areas most impacted by poverty and disease sustain themselves if there is no social welfare?

Some of the families we assisted who had small jobs in the informal economy would lose all their savings when one of their children would get sick. They’d have to spend all their savings on treatment. They wouldn’t have any money to put back in their business and so it would collapse. Many worked informal market jobs like selling vegetables or fish, wash people’s clothes or stuff like that. Over 80% of the people we assisted lived on less than $1 a day and most of those were single parents (mom) with an average of four kids.

So when someone gets too old to take care of themselves does it fall back on the family to take care of them or are they just SOL?

The family takes care of the elderly, but they often don’t reach that age.

Here in America the conservative wing of our government often talks about shutting down or scaling back social services. The idea is that if we all just had control of our own money then we could invest it and get rich. However, a lot of folks are barely sustaining themselves and their families. Saving and investing are not even options. Granted, the situation in Uganda and America are very different and I am hesitant to even compare them but I bring it up to demonstrate what could happen here in America or Canada if the government completely gets out of the business of taking care of its impoverished citizens.

In Uganda there is decent healthcare, but you have to pay for it. They have sort of a two-tier kind of system where you have private care, which is well funded and resourced for the wealthy. And then you have the public hospitals, which are grossly underfunded and understaffed. You have to wait all day just to get in and if you have to stay overnight you have to bring your own toilet paper, bedding, food, etc. You also have to have someone take care of you; the nurses do not do that. So that means a relative or a caregiver has to come and bring you food, bathe you, etc., and that means if they’re doing that, then they’re not working which means they’re losing valuable income especially for those living hand to mouth

You mentioned to me that you were a lot more diverse in your own personal beliefs and in how you live your life now compared to when you were in a band on Tooth & Nail. What did you mean by that?

Well, I guess for starters I don’t go to church anymore. I still believe in ‘god’ but I don’t believe that the Bible is the infallible word of god. I think there are some good lessons to be learned from the Bible, particularly from Jesus and his message of Love, but there are some other things where I just shake my head.

Did that transition have an impact on your family or are you still “in the closet”? 

I wouldn’t say my family is conservative so it hasn’t had much of an impact. I’m a Mennonite, but that can mean different things to different people. My parents are pretty liberal in their theology nowadays. I mean, they probably wish I went to church but I can have a good discussion with them about the way I see things and they appreciate it.

Over the last couple years the international community has come down on Uganda because of what came to be known as the “Kill the Gays” bill.  Can you speak to how that impacted the country or how that bill even came to be?

For starters, homosexuality is already illegal in Uganda as it is in most African countries. This new bill, which was being proposed by a member of parliament named David Bahati, wanted to push for the death penalty if someone was found guilty of “being gay.” It also included imprisonment for anyone who knew people who were gay but did not turn them in to authorities. Apparently an evangelical American group who came to Uganda and worked with churches and members of parliament heavily influenced this bill. Thankfully there’s been huge international pressure from the U.S., Sweden, Canada, etc., to kill the bill or they would cut all funding to Uganda. So far this had been successful, as I don’t think Uganda would be able to function without funding from the States. The backlash against this is that people are saying homosexuality is a “disease” of the West and that Africans will no longer be told what to do by the West. They’re framing it in colonial terms. Of course there’s the whole propaganda machine, which tries to tell people that homosexuals are the same as pedophiles, which you also see being used by the Christian right in North America.

When I hear that I think surely no one believes that anymore but low and behold some Christian organization runs with it. I still don’t understand completely why so many high profile, anti-gay Christian leaders here in America got involved in that.

Yes, very odd indeed.

Once you finish your masters degree, do you plan on returning to Uganda?

I’d love to return to Uganda as I still have a lot of friends there and of course I still have a personal connection and feel a personal interest in the organization I was with. I was there from its inception and helped to build it up. But I’m open to going anywhere there’s work. I would love to work in the West Bank or Gaza and also South Sudan but we’ll see where the wind blows.

Let’s get back to your time in The Undecided. What are a few of your fondest memories?

One would be our very first tour in ’96 way before we were signed. We booked our own tour and played Gilman Street. That was pretty cool just given its history. Another would be playing Warped Tour. Another would be swimming in the ocean in Pensacola. We had a day off and just went. I’ll never forget that day; I just felt so free. To be honest a lot of the good memories weren’t necessarily playing the shows, but just hanging out with three of my best friends in the world and trying to make something out of what we created. Laughing with them and the banter in the van. All the shitty sleeps in the van, driving all through the night to get to the next show half way across the country, all that kind of stuff. At the time you’re like “this sucks” but in reality not very many people have the opportunity to do what we did with their best friends. It was pretty special.

Do you still speak with the other members of the band?

All of us guys in the band are still really close. I hang out with Steve at least once a week if not more – he’s married now and does computer work. I see Dan a few times a week as well, as we play on the same hockey team – he’s a firefighter and also married now. And we don’t see John Paul quite as often because he’s super busy with work and family. He owns and runs his own studio so as a producer / engineer. He works crazy hours and then he’s also married with two kids so he’s quite busy, but we catch up whenever we can.

Are you content with not living the “rock and roll” lifestyle of your past or do you miss it? (Please note: I use the phrase “rock and roll lifestyle” loosely.)

I’d say I’m content with where I am now. I love academics and I love what I’m studying so I’m very happy with that. Touring and playing music was definitely awesome and it’s something not everyone gets the opportunity to do so I feel quite privileged to have had that chance. I sometimes wish we would have put more effort into it to see where it could really take us, but I suppose the timing was never right, as we always seemed to be at different stages in our lives as band members so it was hard to get us all to commit to that lifestyle at the same time. But hey, I have no regrets!

Do you feel as though you can still relate to the person you were when you were in a band and touring? Why or why not?

Although I’m a much different person in many ways since our touring days I can still relate. I still care about much of the same stuff as far as social issues go, etc. But I’m definitely a lot more mature and a lot more diverse in my own personal beliefs and how I live my life. That part has probably been the most significant change in my life. I used to be very sure of what I believed regarding religion or faith, whereas now I’m not so sure. I don’t believe a lot of the stuff I used to, or at least I’m a lot more skeptical of it.


An interview with Mona Elliott of Travels and Victory at Sea

I originally tracked down Mona Elliott in the hopes of doing an interview about her time in Victory At Sea, as part of the “Hey, what happened?” series of interviews. But then I learned she’s still putting out excellent music as a duo (with Anar Badalov, formerly of Metal Hearts) named Travels. Mona and I got together at a bar in her current home of Somerville, Massachusetts, and did this interview. If you would like to listen to Travels (and you really should because they are quite good), you can do so here.

Travels

You had mentioned in your email about being in school?

Yeah, I’m at Mass Art.

Undergraduate or Graduate?

Undergraduate.

What are you working on?

I’m figuring it out. I like graphic design. I like video work. I like making art for fun, but this is definitely a whole different animal.

What do you mean?

I’ve never been to college. This is my very first time. So there’s all that happening to me and around me.

Why did you decide to go to school?

I never went. I was on tour all the time. I always wanted to go but you can’t tour if you’re in school.

So you’ve been touring since you were 18?

Pretty much. My first tour was when I was probably 20.

Is it weird being amongst a lot younger students?

It’s exactly what you think it would be. They’re just people, too. There are some really cool people I go to school with and then there are some very young, immature people. But you can excuse it because they’re only 18 or 20 or 25. It’s not weird, really, but I get a little embarrassed sometimes because I’m much older. I just started being okay with speaking up and being myself but for a while I just wanted to hide. Not who I was – I guess it is weird.

Are you ever like, “I hate it! Why am I even there?”

Some days I do hate it there and feel like, “I’m too old for this.” And other days it’s the best decision I’ve ever made and I’ve learned so much.

I was recently talking with someone about my impressions of the Boston music scene and was wondering what your thoughts are on it. Have you felt supported here?

Yes and no. I’m so far removed from it now, honestly, I don’t even know what it means. What scene? Who are they? Who supports me? I guess I don’t even know what that means anymore. I used to feel like I was in a scene and was supported and would play with a certain group of people but it’s not even what I’m interested in anymore. I don’t go out as much – I’m broke. I’m a full-time student and I’m not working right now.

It’s such a big answer to such a simple question. But I don’t want to say no because at times I have felt that way – supported. And in other ways I feel that maybe the community I belonged to, everyone grew up and moved on. So in a way, yes and in a way, no.

It’s weird how it changes over the years. You probably used to care about “the scene” a lot and who you knew and where you fit in and as you get older –

It’s funny – I didn’t even know I cared about those things. I honestly didn’t think I was caring about those things but now I realize it was all just part of it. I didn’t care but in hindsight it was reality.

That kind of leads me to wonder…I was and am a big fan of Victory at Sea and I was wondering what broke up the band.

I was married to another member and we’re divorced.

Ah, ok. So that kind of did it in.

Yeah.

Do you talk to any of the members of the band anymore?

I do. I still talk to my ex. We’re good. We email. There’s a long list of drummers. I’m in infrequent touch with them. And then Taro, our violin player, is in Japan, and we message on Facebook.

Victory at Sea

So you were married to the bass player?

He was the bass player at first and then he ended up playing the piano. And he plays around quite a bit.

Not just back then, but even now with Travels – what’s your favorite place to play in the city?

I don’t know. We just booked a show for March and we’re playing at O’Brien’s. Every time I’ve gone there it’s seemed like a friendly crowd with not too much smoke blowing up peoples’ asses. It is what it is. We’ve played at PA’s Lounge a couple times and it’s the same way. At this point in time I want to stay away from the rock scene thing. I just want to play and have fun. I want to put out music because I like it.

So I’m not sure what my favorite place to play is anymore. Travels has only played at Lily Pad and that was really fun. And we’ve played at PA’s.

When you were in Victory at Sea, was that your full-time gig?

Well, we’d go on tour a lot and then I was also an ice cream maker. I was doing a lot but it didn’t pay the rent.

What do you mean when you say you were an ice cream maker?

It was just me and another guy and we made ice cream for restaurants around the area.

So do you ever miss the rock and roll lifestyle? Keeping in mind I use that phrase loosely.

No. I think it gave me cancer. Honestly. I know I lived very unhealthy. And when you’re physically unhealthy there’s no way you can be mentally and emotionally healthy. It’s a very unhealthy lifestyle.

How was it unhealthy for you?

I was doing it for so many years. You don’t sleep. You’re not eating right. You’re drinking every night because that’s what you get for free. I was smoking heavily – so was the whole band. You try to quit but you can’t because everybody’s smoking. Even this last one we did – me and Anar are super tame compared to our days in Victory at Sea but every day getting to bed at three and maybe you have to get up at nine and then you’re driving and don’t know where you’re going. There’s the stress of just getting somewhere and wondering if anyone is going to show up – it’s just stressful.

When you start out you just think, “It’s gonna be fun!”

And it is.

Yeah, but you don’t think about all the stressful stuff. So if I say your band name – Victory at Sea – what pops into your head first? Is there some memory that comes out?

It was so long of a time. And considering there were so many different drummers, it felt like a different band each time. Then the dynamic changed and the way I would relate to each drummer was completely different. Our last drummer, Dave, he was like a brother to me. He was awesome. The way I think of that version of Victory at Sea is so different than our first drummer in the mid 90s.

So you mentioned a minute ago that you had cancer at some point?

I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2007.

Is it in remission?

Officially, I’ll have my five-year – which they consider being cured – in May. May 17th. Which is also a big deal because I’ve been on medication, which I’m very excited to no longer take.

Travels

Did that affect what you were writing in Travels?

It did. I wasn’t doing a lot of the writing. I was very shocked and focused on my treatment and getting better. So I feel like Anar did a lot of keeping it going, which is what I needed. It affected me in the sense that I didn’t put my whole self into it whereas now I feel like I am and I can.

But does it affect the actual songs you’re writing?

Yeah. Right after I had cancer my mom was diagnosed with lung cancer and she passed away in 2009. And back to back with those things happening made it harder to write lyrics. So right now we’re leaning towards writing non-personal stories.

Fictional stuff?

Yeah.

Does that mean you’re going to write a concept album?

Yeah.

About what?

So far it’s about a woman whose son dies. We don’t talk about the son dying, but it’s more about her remembering the things that happened with him. It gets dreamy and you’re left wondering, “Is he alive? Is he dead?” We’ve got three songs so far and they go right into each other like a story. Right now, the new album we’re working on, there’s no electronic drums. We just got a suitcase and Anar is playing it like a bass drum, and a snare drum. He’s playing keyboards with his left hand. I was in the living room the other day and it sounded like electronic drums. So simple beats.

So, you mean an actual suitcase?

Yeah. Travels. Get it? It’s fun. And it was also only three bucks at the Goodwill. So a three-dollar bass drum – not bad. And since there are no electronic drums, the songs are tending to be a little bit longer.

So you’re steering clear of your own illness in the songwriting?

Now? Yes.

It just seems like some people have those things they have to get all out on an album and other people never want to talk about it.

Well, I used to want to write it all out. But this was just too much.

And I also don’t know if I’m making this up or read it somewhere – I surf the internet a lot – but you and Anar are in a relationship?

We are.

How does that affect the songwriting and music?

It’s really good for us because we practice in the house and we’re quiet. I don’t feel like I’m in a band. It feels more like I play music with my boyfriend. This is what we do. It’s something we both like to do. Some couples might want to do what they want to do together and we like to play music.

I always wondered how it was to be in a relationship with your bandmate and you’re trying to write songs about relationships.

We’ve done it and it’s worked out because we get along very well and we’re very much in love. It’s all nice.

You were talking about not using the drum machine anymore. Why is that? I liked the drums.

I did too. Maybe it’ll just be this record, maybe it’ll be for good. I don’t know. For this one we’re just going to see what happens.

So was that a natural progression or something you wanted to force?

The other day we were at practice and I was watching him play this suitcase and the piano at the same time, trying to learn two new instruments all at once and we’re going on tour at the beginning of March and I was thinking, “How the fuck did this happen?” I don’t know. It just happened. There are still a couple songs that we’re going to do on this upcoming tour where we’ll have the drum machine so that we can play the old ones.

Travels

I’ve noticed that you seem to take more of the lead on the vocals – is that intentional?

It’s not intentional. I feel it sort of happened over time.

What kind of music have you been listening to lately?

I’ve been listening to Blondie and there’s this guy – I don’t know his name – but he’s this Iranian psych rocker from the 70s. And we got a three record thing. It’s so good.

Where did you find it?

Anar was at the record store in Union Square and he saw the cover and wanted it but didn’t get it because it was like 30 bucks and came home and looked it up online and then ran and got it.

What does Anar do for work?

He’s an associate publicist for the MIT Press.

For a minute there I thought you were going to say he was an associate pastor.

Oh, you didn’t know? *laughs*

I thought, well, if that’s the case, then I just came up with a few more questions. *laughs* But I guess otherwise, that should do it.

“Burr Song,” the first track from Travels’ Robber on the Run album.


An interview with Henry Rollins

For a while I’ve been interested in the relationship between Ian MacKaye (Minor Threat, Fugazi, Dischord Records) and his long-time friend, Henry Rollins (Black Flag, Rollins Band, everything else). It’s pretty amazing to me that two people who have had such an influence on punk rock culture and music have a friendship that goes back to their youth. I wanted to find out more so I contacted Ian and he graciously agreed to spend some time talking to me about it. You can read that here.

I recently emailed Henry some questions about Ian and you can read his responses below. I am very grateful to both Ian and Henry for spending time talking and writing to me about their friendship.

And thanks to Marianna for getting the ball rolling on this.

What was your initial impression of Ian?

Ian was the first person I knew from my basic peer set / age group who thought for himself. While I was wanting to fit in, perhaps just wanting to feel normal or accepted, Ian was his own person and setting his own course. This made a huge impression on me. I didn’t understand it at first and took me quite a long time to figure out what all that meant. He was also very funny. The bottom line is that Ian thinks differently. This has lead to all the things he has achieved in his life. He gets more interesting and worth listening to as he goes.

What kind of stuff did you do when you hung out as teens?

Bikes, skateboards. We did a lot of time with the skateboards. It’s a way to hang out. The advent of going to see live music had quite a substantial impact on both of us. When Ian started playing in bands, the immersion was total. Music became a very full time thing for both of us. Ian was the guy in the band who was running a label and helping to invent what is now the how-to-do-it of Independent music distribution and ethic. I was the fan, going to the shows and checking it all out.

What kind of things do you do now when you get together?

We visit people we know. We go to visit his brother and his family. We go to the neighborhood we grew up in and walk around. We go to Dischord. We talk about a lot of things. We hang out at his house, listen to music and play with his son.

How has your relationship changed over the years?

I think it has gotten better. We live very far apart and are both very engaged and very full on with myriad activities. This being the case, there’s not always the time to keep up on things. I have made an effort to visit DC more often, which is always great to do as I really like it there. This has helped us keep the line of communication open. We also talk more often on the phone than we used to. It’s always great to hear what is happening on his end. We are very different in where we have gone in our lives and having known each other for so long, it’s interesting to trade stories. Ian went for a far more innovative, higher integrity path with a relatively low fluctuation rate due to his smarts and choices. I went for a more predictable, lower integrity path with a much greater fluctuation rate due to irrational, compulsive behavior and bad choices. Different oceans, different waves but water and waves nonetheless, if that makes any sense. Basically, there are some similarities in what we have done but we have gone different ways. My failures rival his achievements in magnitude.

After knowing Ian for so many years, what is it like to see him as a father?

It is Ian’s finest hour. The kid is going to be a great person, he has amazing parents. The cool logic Ian applies to fatherhood is an amazing thing to see in action. Between Ian and Amy, who is one of the more amazing people I have ever met, I think Carmine will be an inherently good person. Ian has been in father mode a good deal of his life anyway. He took on an incredible amount of responsibility at an early age and his move into fatherhood is natural. He is a pretty unshakable guy. He’s the one you want in charge.

Any advice to others on how to maintain a good friendship with someone over many years and thousands of miles?

Hopefully, it’s strong enough to where it can withstand all that time and all that distance. I guess keeping the lines open. I am extremely lucky to know Ian. He is my favorite person. I have learned a lot from him.

 Keith Morris (Black Flag, Circle Jerks, OFF!) with Ian and Henry


An Interview with Ian MacKaye

For a while I’ve been interested in the relationship between Ian MacKaye (Minor Threat, Fugazi, Dischord Records) and his long-time friend, Henry Rollins (Black Flag, Rollins Band, everything else). It’s pretty amazing to me that two people who have had such an influence on punk rock culture and music have a friendship that goes back to their youth. I wanted to find out more so I contacted Ian and he graciously agreed to spend some time talking to me about it. Go here to read Henry’s thoughts on Ian and their relationship.

What is one of the first things you remember about Henry?

We grew up in a neighborhood in DC called Glover Park. I grew up on Beecher Street and he lived about two blocks away on W Street. Word got out that there was a kid down on W Street who had a BB gun. And we said to ourselves, “Whoa, we’ve got to check this motherfucker out!” because nobody we knew had a BB gun at that time. So we went down and knocked on the door and there was Henry.  He was slightly bigger than me. He was 12 and I was 11. He wore horn-rimmed glasses. We said, “Hey, we heard you had a BB gun.” And he said, “Yeah.” Henry was a latchkey kid. His parents were divorced and his mom worked, so he came home to an empty house. We started going down to hang with him in the afternoons. He had a BB gun – a rifle and a pistol – and he had a little shooting range set up in the basement. There was a cigar box with slots cut in the top that held poker chip targets and behind that was big piece of Styrofoam to protect the wall. The Styrofoam was not that effective. Henry actually went down into that basement a few years ago and could see that the BB dings were still in the wall.

We listened to Aerosmith, Led Zeppelin and Cheech and Chong records. This was 1974. He was a pretty fucking cool guy; maybe a little bit nervous, but I didn’t really know him that well.

Then I went away for a year – my dad had a fellowship at Stanford University. I lived for nine months in California. While I was gone, one of my close friends got into a scrap with Henry. So when I came home I inherited the scrap. I spent the next year terrified of him because he was always trying to beat our asses. He caught up with me one time and threw me against a wall and I realized he could be really fucking scary.

Then my friends and I started skateboarding and one day we saw him on a skateboard and we thought, “Oh, great! Now this psycho is a fucking skateboarder!” We had built a ramp in the alley behind my house and one day he was riding by and said, “Can I ride the ramp?” And we said, “Sure,” and ended up reconnecting.

There was a period in my life where every job I had, Henry got for me. He worked at the pet store – he got me a job. He worked at the movie theater – he got me a job. He worked at the skate shop – he got me a job. He worked at Häagen-Dazs – he got me a job. So we spent a lot of time together.

Then, when his mom tossed him out of the house, he would stay at my family’s house and store his stuff there until my mother would say, “You’ve got to figure something out,” and then he would stay in his car for a while and then come back to our house.

We got into punk together. He didn’t go to the first show with me. He was a little leery. And that was The Cramps in February of ’79. Two weeks later I went to see The Clash and Henry went to that. Pretty mind-blowing shows.

I formed The Teen Idles with some other Wilson High School friends and Henry was our roadie. We called him the fifth Idle. It’s funny to think that we had a “roadie” since we never really toured. In fact we never played outside of Washington until July of 1980 when we decided to play two shows in California. We took a Greyhound bus there and back. It took four days to get out there and we took not one, but two roadies with us! Henry was one and Mark Sullivan was the other. It took me years to realize how absurd it was for us to have roadies because we only brought our guitars and a pair of drumsticks. Mostly I think we just all wanted to go to California. Later that year The Teen Idles broke up and I started singing for Minor Threat. Henry formed S.O.A. exactly at the same time. He had always wanted to sing in a band, in fact he even sang at one Teen Idles practice, and he had written a bunch of lyrics, so it made sense. The two bands were wrapped up with each other and we played a lot of gigs together, or at least were booked to play together. It was common for shows to get shut down at that time, so the two bands jockeyed for the opening slot in hopes of playing a few songs before the cops showed up.

In May or June of 1981, Henry called me up and said, “Guess who’s singing for Black Flag? Me.” I had no idea. He had gone up to New York to try out for them without even mentioning it. His recollection is that he said, “Black Flag wants me to sing but I don’t think I can do it,” and I said to him, “You’re crazy. You’re going to be incredible.” That may have been the case; I don’t know.

The question of who was going to be the new singer for Black Flag was something that we had all wondered about having heard that Dez wanted to move to guitar. As I remember Flipside Magazine had been reporting on rumors of who it might be, but no announcement had been made from the band. I had no idea that Black Flag had driving across the country trying people out. One person I remember hearing that they tried out was a guy named Dee Slut who sang for The Sluts from New Orleans. I don’t know who else they checked out, but apparently they had been talking to a number of people. They got rehearsal space set up in NYC and asked Henry if he wanted to try out. He drove straight up after getting off work at 2 in the morning and then straight back down to get to work the next day. I guess after he sang the band said he was in if he wanted it.  I had no idea about any of this, so when he called I was completely in the dark. When he asked me to guess who was singing for Black Flag, all I could think of were LA people. To say I was shocked when he told me it was him would be an understatement. I was pretty freaked out, but ultimately very happy for him.

Picture by Kevin Salk

How important was it that Henry like your music projects?

Uh, what kind of question is that? Of course I want him to like what I do. He’s my friend. Of course that doesn’t mean that I always do things with Henry in mind.  There were times when I didn’t get overwhelmingly affirmative reaction from him, but you’ve got to remember that he moved away in 1981. It’ll be 30 years in June when he moved out of Washington. At the time he moved our relationship shifted because of the geographic reality of it. If you’re with somebody all the time the dynamic is different than if they’re gone all the time. Quite often, if you’re developing something and there’s someone who is not in the picture and they weigh in disapprovingly, it’s like, “Well, too bad. You’re not here.” Or they may not weigh in and that’s a sign of disapproval or it could be that they’ve just got their own shit going on. There is no doubt that Henry’s got his own shit going on! He’s one of the busiest people in the world. Henry has done an enormous amount of work and while I try to be on top of it and be in touch with him, I can’t keep up with him and weigh in on everything he does. If anything I’ve been less demonstrative in following his work than he has of mine. He’s written books and been in movies – there have been movies he was in and I didn’t even know he made them! I was actually talking to some people the other day and they said, “Hey, your man Henry – the voice of Verizon.” And I said, “What?!” It’s funny, though, because I had been looking at something on television and I remember this particular ad for Verizon being played but I had no idea it was Henry’s voice. It wouldn’t occur to me it was his voice. And I said to him, “Wow, look at you – the voice of Verizon,” and he said, “Yeah, pretty cool.”

How did being friends with someone who was in a punk band on the other side of the country shape and expand your views on punk?

Well, first off – Henry wasn’t in a punk band. He was in Black Flag.

Our relationship with Black Flag really began when I called Dukowski. In Slash Magazine and Flipside there was this SST ad with a phone number and I called the number. Chuck answered and he became my friend and we talked on the phone a lot. You also have to remember that I was friends with Kevin Seconds and [Jello] Biafra. Knowing people into punk in other parts of the country totally influenced and affected me. It was like finding comrades and we had a reason to get there. If you’re driving from Washington to points west and you know someone in Reno, then you’ve got somewhere to stop. The first successful driving tour across the country that Minor Threat did was in 1982. That tour routing reveals who we were in touch with. We went from Washington to Boston, which was SS Decontrol. Then to Lansing, which was The Necros, and then to Reno, which is not an easy drive. And then from Reno to San Francisco and from there to Los Angeles. From Los Angeles we went to Austin, which was the Big Boys. So knowing people throughout the country makes you feel like you’re involved with something because you are involved with something.

With Henry, he was a DC guy who was going out to California and his take on it was interesting. We were huge fans of a lot of LA stuff and he would say, “Oh my god, I saw this guy from The Weirdos!” or he met this guy or that guy. But at the same time Henry was going through a huge transition and he was under an enormous amount of pressure. He was this new guy from DC and was already almost legendary in California at that time. They had heard about the scene in DC and wanted to know who this guy was that Black Flag went all the way to Washington to get.

Also, it was a really extreme time for music. There was a lot of serious aggro. Henry had to fight his way out of it. Meanwhile the band itself was under such an intense situation because they were having all kinds of problems with the police. There was a lot of psychological insanity going on, so it wasn’t always easy. So on the one hand it was cool because we could talk about these things like, “Oh, you saw the Whiskey,” or something like that, but on the other hand he was changing, but he had to change. He was Henry Garfield when he lived here. But he was Henry Rollins by the time the dust settled.

So, everything being said, do you have any advice on how to maintain a good friendship with someone over all the years and distance?

For me, I think friends and acquaintances aren’t that far removed from siblings or parents. What I mean by that is that they are essentially a form of blood relative. Though chosen, they have a similarity for me. I’m not an idiot – if I like somebody and there’s something about them I find compelling then there’s probably a good reason for it.

My point is that just like a brother or a sister, people may drift or transgress but it really doesn’t make a difference. If they’re your friend then they’re your friend. The door is always unlocked on this end. For me, I’ve known Henry for just shy of 40 years and I would say that we are closer now than we’ve ever been before. It’s not always that way. That’s part of friendships. I may say to somebody, “You’re a weirdo, but you’re my fucking weirdo and you’ve been rolling with me for a long time. You put up with me and I put up with you.”

When we look in the mirror, we see ourselves in reverse, but friends are people who see us the right way and that’s important to have in our lives.


An Interview with Audrey Ryan

Audrey Ryan’s latest album is entitled Thick Skin.


After seeing your CD release show with a 12-piece orchestra, how are you going to go about doing your live show?

Well, out of the ten songs on Thick Skin, I’m able to play about five of those songs live as a one-man band. I think I can get the point across fairly well. But it’s still not going to be quite the same as that. That’s why it was a one-night only thing. Unfortunately, I’m not Sufjan Stevens and I can’t afford 10 or 12 people to play with me every time. Songs like “Way I Am” is an accordion song so if you play it solo or with other people it’s still pretty close. The CD was kind of ambitious, though. It was a twenty to thirty track thing for every song, so it’s hard to replicate.

Another thing I noticed at your release show was that your mom was playing piano on a few songs. Obviously they’re supportive but what do your parents think of your music?

Good question. I think they like it but they’re also my parents so they’re not going to be too critical. For my father it’s been a bit more of a journey. I have several records out and he likes some of them more than others. He’s more into pop music like the Beatles so anything I do that’s up the pop vein he likes. But if I get too experimental or personal, for that matter – if the subject matter is about my love life or family members, he doesn’t like that. But for the most part I think he likes it. I sent him a CD and he told me what tracks he liked.

My mom is just very supportive in general. I don’t think I’ve heard much criticism from her. But they’re both musicians, too. Not professionally but my mom plays piano and my dad taught me how to play guitar. They’re very directly responsible for how I became a musician, although maybe not a songwriter.

One of the songs that stuck out to me the most on the new album was “Dangling.” And correct me if I’m wrong, but it almost seems to have apocalyptic connotations, so it leads me to wonder, what inspired that?

I wrote that song a while ago but I re-wrote it in the last year. I don’t generally write songs that are universal or philosophical. I don’t believe in being preachy because I’m a little too open to things. But with that song I started to think about what the world was like before there were so many people. Literally now, a parking space is $300,000 in Back Bay so I was just wondering what it was like before people owned things or before people existed at all. If you look down from tens of thousands of feet you see little squares and it’s because of ownership and this idea of private property, which is well ingrained in our society and pretty much every other society. But it’s fascinating to think of a time before that because we’ve changed the landscape so much. So I was just thinking of how different it is.

As far as the apocalyptic thing, that was me wondering where things are going to go. This idea of ownership and land and change and that everything is futile, which is the whole idea of dangling. It’s all very unknown and I’ve thought before how a rock could hit us any second and it would all be over.

One of the songs on Thick Skin, “Nostalgia,” is from an earlier album. Why did you decide to re-record it?

On my first record from 2004, it was most people’s favorite song. That was seven years ago and my life and music have changed dramatically. It was one of those songs that I felt I could do over again and while melodically it may sound the same I could make it completely different if I had other instruments. Also, my voice is different. I project a lot more and my voice is gravelly even though I don’t smoke. I’m glad I did it over again because some people seemed to like the second version. I’m not afraid of re-recording. I might do it again actually. On this record, the last song, “If You Go,” I have a totally different version of it as a one-man band where I loop the xylophone and the chords are different. So on my next record I may record “If You Go, Part 2.” I’m not afraid of re-recording the same song if it’s a good song.

A lot of your songs deal with depression as well as handling the monotony of life. I was wondering if you see the two as being connected.

Absolutely. A lot of people are depressed because their routines are mundane or because they have a routine at all. Even though I may have a number of songs on depression or the mundane I don’t particularly consider myself a depressed person. I see how important it is to nurture or care for things in your life that you actually love and that inspire you. Yeah, I tend to write songs about the dark aspects and should probably write more about the bright aspects but it’s often easier to write a sad song than a positive song. I think just living in a large city in New England where the weather is crappy half the year and not crappy the other half, you see people go through cycles. It’s the East Coast and a lot of people are sort of edgy and standoffish and cold to begin with. And then if you layer on top of that that they might possibly be depressed it can definitely bring out some dark feelings.

I’m also very much a people watcher and I go to the grocery store and when I see someone yelling at their children I’m thinking, “Well, they shouldn’t yell at their children but I’m sure they’re also stressed out because they only have 30 minutes to do all their grocery shopping for the week and they work two jobs and are on food stamps.” There’s just layers upon layers in life. I also think about class differences, too.

So depression has been a theme for me but it probably also has to do with me having a mental health background.

What do you mean by that?

I went back to get my masters in counseling psychology about two years ago. I have this other life where I study mental health so I have a pretty good fascination with it.

So are you a practicing counselor?

Yeah. I practice part-time. And the other part is music. The music being what it is, you need to be self-sustaining for the long term for when you get old. I do cognitive-behavioral therapy. It’s a part of my life and I see it a lot so it will probably be a big part of my songwriting.

Without sounding cliché, is music therapy for you?

That’s not cliché – it’s cathartic for me. Therapy is therapy for me.

Sometimes I will write a song and it will serve as a cathartic, therapeutic thing for me. Last summer I was bummed out for a couple of weeks and it was based around some things in my life and I wrote this song, which I haven’t even been playing because it was so relevant to that couple of weeks when I was bummed out. So I wrote the song and it captured that moment and then I moved on. Obviously it was the thing I needed to do to put a stamp on it and send it away. So music can be therapeutic but I think just being creative is the biggest thing. I think if you have a creative outlet it’s going to be cathartic for you because so much of life is not.

When I get a chance to lock myself in a room and play music, it’s the best couple hours of the week. Performing is another ball of wax but I find the creative process of writing to be very cathartic.

How is performing different?

Performing is more of an ordeal. I have to go to my performance space, which is on the second story of my building. Because I’m a one-woman band I have a ton of crap and I have to go pick it up, bring it downstairs, load it into the car, go to the gig, load it out of my car and take it into the club. And if the club is in a weird part of town it can be hard for me to park and get close to the club. Then I have to set up – it takes hours. A gig where you play for forty minutes can take four or five hours of your day. You have to watch the other performers if there are any and you have to wait to get paid and again, you have to load in and load out. There’s so much involved with performing that it’s not always fun. Maybe the part when you’re on stage and if the show is going well and people are responding to the music – that’s really fun.

But would you say that the money is more with the live performance?

Well, nowadays, yeah. It’s also in merchandise. I make most of my money from performing live but I also make money from licensing on TV shows and movies. It’s a great way to make money but it’s very competitive. But you get what you get and it’s hard to be proactive about it. I have a couple of companies that represent me and once in a while they’ll email me and tell me I was on some show I’ve never watched before and that’s great as long as I get a check from BMI.

But the new model is definitely that you have to perform live and you have to be good at it. People are starting to be smarter consumers of live music. If you’re not that good your friends will come see you but you’ll never build a fanbase.

Do you feel like you’ve built a fanbase around Boston?

Yeah, I do. It took me a long time and I’m not going to lie – I wasn’t that good when I started out seven or eight years ago. I was not a particularly good live act. I was probably a decent songwriter and maybe a decent singer and guitar player but I’ve developed significantly. I’m a trial and error person. I didn’t hone my craft and get really good at it and then started playing out. I immediately started playing out before I knew what I was doing. I probably scared some people away but luckily I’ve been around long enough and there have been enough people that have moved in and out of the city that people that do come see me now will get on the mailing list and keep coming.

Now I can play Club Passim and get a hundred people there or get a couple hundred people to come to my CD release show at The Nave. As long as I promote a show and give it some effort people will actually show up. And that’s great because seven years ago if I played it was just my friends. And now I don’t even have to rely on my friends to come to shows. It’s nice that they do but I’ve realized that you just can’t rely on your friends to be your fans because it’s a false sense of accomplishment. They’re doing it out of loyalty. You’ve got to look out in the audience and see people you don’t know and that’s when you know you’re doing okay.


Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.